Student work!

Why does everyone fall for them at some point? Those pyramid scams that put YOU in the driver's seat of your life by selling Educational Suites (not quite encyclopedias, not quite textbooks; in other words wastes of paper) and really sharp knives (will cut your shoe or face in half!). I'm sitting here in the library listening to this "Regional Sales Rep" who traveled to Budapest and "graduated from MSU" interviewing this poor girl. She's way too eager, and falling right into this "resume builder," with the potential for "moving up." They suckered me in sometime in 9th or 10th grade.

You know what, nameless girl, you should do it. Go all the way. You say you're a Supply Chain Management major? Perfect! You could be the top seller in your region. Sell books aaalllll summer in a college town, or win a trip on our exchange program and do it in some retirement community. Work your own hours, no less. Get people to stay fresh and mentally nimble in the off season. I mean, it has to be more fun than a video game, right? Or more useful than wikipedia?

FUCK YES! SIGN ME UP. I think the "bulk of my resume" should be etched from the patented contoured design of Cutco knives, or slathered in a slowly simmered red sauce from Southwestern Co. cookbooks. Don't forget about the long list of a thousand equally colorless references like door slams, "sorries," and "leave me alones!"

Don't ever find yourself in an interview where the ratio of boss-to-candidate dialog is 98:2, or they guide you by the hand through all of your bad answers like a special-ed teacher (and still want your schedule for another meeting tomorrow). Excuse yourself to the bathroom and never come back.